Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Fuck appropriateness.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
