After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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