I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm passing your future prison.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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