You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
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