trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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