Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You made out with two different species that night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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