Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
