The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
