So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
