Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
