I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
