I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize