lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
