At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
