Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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