she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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