I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
