my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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