You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the day after is always just damage control
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
