The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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