you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
