Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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