fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
