bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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