Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize