I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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