please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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