I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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