Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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