Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
try to milk me bitch
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
