On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
