how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize