i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
