If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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