You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
