yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
