Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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