I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
