I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
