theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
