I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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