so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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