whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
