Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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