You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
