we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think your dad took our porno
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize