he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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