im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So much Jack, so little girl.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
