paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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