Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
