Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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