Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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