I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
