why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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