Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
