I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
