Dual....:-)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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