I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
