Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Farmville is her only friend.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize