I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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