You smell like stripper and shame
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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