you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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