her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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