we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
