Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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