my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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